I cannot

Sometimes I feel that I will not be who I want to be ,that is too much ,that I cannot handle with it,that it was just luck to be where I  am and the thought that maybe I will not go to the high school of my dreams is ruining me.I cannot handle anymore with maths and I do not like physic.And the thing it is that wat I want to do when I will be finished that is based on it.I do not have a social life and I did not start my life yet and it feels like I am over,that I cannot fight anymore.
I am wondering sometimes that wath is the reason o study when everywhere counts just the realations you have.I feel so little in this world and I cannot see my chances here ,in this battle.I am like a loser without fighting and a girl without hope.I am wondering most of the time if this life counts ,if at the final we all are the same and if  everything make sense...
What is the diffrence between life and dead ,between a lawyer and a housekeeper?I have big resolutions but I do not know if I can manage to graduate the life school...