Sometimes I feel that I will not be who I want to be ,that is too much ,that I cannot handle with it,that it was just luck to be where I am and the thought that maybe I will not go to the high school of my dreams is ruining me.I cannot handle anymore with maths and I do not like physic.And the thing it is that wat I want to do when I will be finished that is based on it.I do not have a social life and I did not start my life yet and it feels like I am over,that I cannot fight anymore.
I am wondering sometimes that wath is the reason o study when everywhere counts just the realations you have.I feel so little in this world and I cannot see my chances here ,in this battle.I am like a loser without fighting and a girl without hope.I am wondering most of the time if this life counts ,if at the final we all are the same and if everything make sense...
What is the diffrence between life and dead ,between a lawyer and a housekeeper?I have big resolutions but I do not know if I can manage to graduate the life school...
miercuri, 26 februarie 2014
All about D.
Do you know the kind of people who are like ''I am the most stupid in the class",and then they are on the top of the list?Well I hate those pearsons and the most I hate that they do not study ,but they are the first allways.
In my class,it is a girl,let's name her D.,who is the first at everything ,maths,physics,english,franch,etc. and she has just good marks,kind of just 10.And she does not work ,but she is simply the best,I mean how can she be the first and not doing her homework,and reading all day ,and staying on Facebook all day...Is perfect and I hate her,I know that sounds mean but is the true,and it is not about her brain,it is that her mother helps her a lot,with checking her and with private classes.I do private classes but not like her and I cannot fight with that ,I cannot be perfect.
I am the second from my region at languages,but she is like all the time the first.
In my class,it is a girl,let's name her D.,who is the first at everything ,maths,physics,english,franch,etc. and she has just good marks,kind of just 10.And she does not work ,but she is simply the best,I mean how can she be the first and not doing her homework,and reading all day ,and staying on Facebook all day...Is perfect and I hate her,I know that sounds mean but is the true,and it is not about her brain,it is that her mother helps her a lot,with checking her and with private classes.I do private classes but not like her and I cannot fight with that ,I cannot be perfect.
I am the second from my region at languages,but she is like all the time the first.
marți, 18 februarie 2014
Shallow things
Do you know that feeling when everything is wrong,that you are the problem?Well I am feeling so alone ,I do not have friends or someone to talk,and I am the problem because I have a big ego,but all the girls in the class are talking about boys and shallow things.That is the cause way I love books more than people.How can you complain that you do not have a boyfriend on Valentines day when you do not have period yet,and do not care about the children who do not have mothers ?How can you just thing about your designer clothes when out there someone is dying because he did not have what to wear,and how to eat just at restaurants without giving a shit for the children who are dying cause they did not have food?
I know that I am not the pearson who has the right to talk about that,and I know that I am shallow too,but I know that ,in life,it is not about how expensive your cellphone was,it is about what you can do,what you can think without your parents to be there telling you what to do and not,because we need to have our mistakes and we must know how the real life is it.
Unfortunately,in this days no one care about what you can do,they care just about the material things ,and how they expect us to study when the marks are given for the daddys bank account?
That is the problem about our generation,everywhere in this world,but the question is it HOW WILL WE MANAGE TO HAVE A GOOD POPULATION?
I know that I am not the pearson who has the right to talk about that,and I know that I am shallow too,but I know that ,in life,it is not about how expensive your cellphone was,it is about what you can do,what you can think without your parents to be there telling you what to do and not,because we need to have our mistakes and we must know how the real life is it.
Unfortunately,in this days no one care about what you can do,they care just about the material things ,and how they expect us to study when the marks are given for the daddys bank account?
That is the problem about our generation,everywhere in this world,but the question is it HOW WILL WE MANAGE TO HAVE A GOOD POPULATION?
luni, 17 februarie 2014
A story
Sometimes I wonder, if your entire life has ruined,if the only home we have known it was a prison,a false life, will you be able to go away and live in the real one?
I lived so many years in this school,away from my mother,from technology,that I do not know how it is to be normal,to decide just what you have to wear and whai is the color which suit you.I know that here everything it is stupid and that everyone is lying ,that this is just a preparation.But I tryed to make my life here the best I tryed to make friends and not to tell anyone about my past .And I managed...But what if your best friend is killed by another friend,what if everything you used to know is a lie?How can you resist to a betray,and what if the boy you falled in love,who used to be the only pearson who knew your past is falling in love with someone else?And he had let you die because his new girlfriend had an accident,and your mother is not your real mother...If your life has been a lie,and the lie was destroyed,do you exist anymore?
I lived so many years in this school,away from my mother,from technology,that I do not know how it is to be normal,to decide just what you have to wear and whai is the color which suit you.I know that here everything it is stupid and that everyone is lying ,that this is just a preparation.But I tryed to make my life here the best I tryed to make friends and not to tell anyone about my past .And I managed...But what if your best friend is killed by another friend,what if everything you used to know is a lie?How can you resist to a betray,and what if the boy you falled in love,who used to be the only pearson who knew your past is falling in love with someone else?And he had let you die because his new girlfriend had an accident,and your mother is not your real mother...If your life has been a lie,and the lie was destroyed,do you exist anymore?
duminică, 16 februarie 2014
A shadowhunter life
I discovered a new book,called ''THE INFERNAL DEVICES ''by Cassandra Clare.She is official my new idoll,a writer who started writting about ''HARRY POTTER''.And how amazing it is that she had such an originall idea about angels and demons,I totally falled in love with her books,and with the characters espacially Will .
Of course that i could not stay away about thinking at me in that time,Victorian London.So I was thinking about my name,DIANA EVERDEEN.I was living in Romania ,Bran,the vampires house.I had a familly my parents and my brother,John.In one night,after my mother kissed for good night,I heard some noises.I went down and saw some demons killing my parents.I was so teriffied!I ran away,but somehow my feet did not make noise ...and I felt down on my knees ,wheeping,without breathing.I stayed there unti those monsteres left.My brother came to me and we went in the kitchen,seeing blood everywhere.My mother was still bleeding,her withe dress had turned in red,and her brown hair was covering her withe ,cold face,and her eyes were so empty ...I wanted to shout,but I knew that she will never come back again,that i had to be strong,that John and me were in a big danger.I took my mother s bracelet and turned to my brother who was looking to my father and then I rembebered how upset I was when he did not buy me a doll,if I had known that I would never see him again ,I had apoogised to him.John took my hand and we got dressed , took some thinks and went away...
After a week of walking in snow ,we arrived at the LONDON INSTITUT.A woman opened a door and she took care of us.We told what happened,but I did not tell about my wheeping.I tryied not to cry in front of her ,I cried just at night,but she heard me and she stayed with me.Every morning ,I was staying at the window,waiting for my parents ,playing with the bloody bracelet.I had waited every day ,for every week in the past 6 months before I realised that they would not come anymore.
Charlotte and Heny became my familly,but I never told that ,Iwas afraid of love someone else.I was staring 2 years at my parent s thinks wich we recovered,I tryed for 2 years to forget ,bbut you cannot forget these things which change you forever,this scar was going to watch me every where ,like a shadow .
When I had 6 years old I decided to start my training wit my brother,that was the only way wich I could help my parents,to be sure that the demons will never hurt another nephilims .I never was cruel altough,I helped everyone,even the people who had hurted me,who cheated me,who I loved and for who I could die for.
When I was 10 ,a boy came to the Insitut,his name was Will.At first,I hated him because he was mean but he enjoyed readin so we became friendlier one with another,and John was like a big brother for him.After a while I met Jessie ,she was the first girl I knew after Charlotte.She was orphan like me,but her parents did not enjoying to be a nephilim,she also thought me to speak French and to saw.but I did not like her atitude about the shadowhunters.
After a while,our family get bigger.A boy from China came,Jem.He was sick,and at first I was afraid and I looked after the door when Charlotte pruaid Will to meet him,He was rude like always,but Jem did not response,he was sad and inocent and when he said about his ilness I got ashamed because I was afraid.
We all satrted our training ,except Jessie.Sometimes we were rude one with eachother, but tht is what a family is doing,John and me became parabatai and we started to kill demons when I had 14 years old,and Will with Jem became parabatai too.
The time was going faster and faster ,like it was flying,and I started to feel something for Will...One day,I did not go to kill demons,but the boys did .In that day everything changed.The faith punched me again .I was playing to piano when Will entered with John in his arms,bleeding like our father.He died ,giving me the family s knife.I cried over his dead body hours and hours before Jem took me away from him.
I was so angry that I lost him that I did not accept the knife ,it harmed my hands,but the pain was not as bad as the pain of his lost.My rune of parabatai started bleeding,and my wrists were red of blood too,but I could not stop crying..Sophie,the housekeeper was the only one who knew about that ansd she told me that I was out of breathing.In those days I felt like a ghos in withe with red runes over my body seeming like blood,but not painfull enough.
Of course that i could not stay away about thinking at me in that time,Victorian London.So I was thinking about my name,DIANA EVERDEEN.I was living in Romania ,Bran,the vampires house.I had a familly my parents and my brother,John.In one night,after my mother kissed for good night,I heard some noises.I went down and saw some demons killing my parents.I was so teriffied!I ran away,but somehow my feet did not make noise ...and I felt down on my knees ,wheeping,without breathing.I stayed there unti those monsteres left.My brother came to me and we went in the kitchen,seeing blood everywhere.My mother was still bleeding,her withe dress had turned in red,and her brown hair was covering her withe ,cold face,and her eyes were so empty ...I wanted to shout,but I knew that she will never come back again,that i had to be strong,that John and me were in a big danger.I took my mother s bracelet and turned to my brother who was looking to my father and then I rembebered how upset I was when he did not buy me a doll,if I had known that I would never see him again ,I had apoogised to him.John took my hand and we got dressed , took some thinks and went away...
After a week of walking in snow ,we arrived at the LONDON INSTITUT.A woman opened a door and she took care of us.We told what happened,but I did not tell about my wheeping.I tryied not to cry in front of her ,I cried just at night,but she heard me and she stayed with me.Every morning ,I was staying at the window,waiting for my parents ,playing with the bloody bracelet.I had waited every day ,for every week in the past 6 months before I realised that they would not come anymore.
Charlotte and Heny became my familly,but I never told that ,Iwas afraid of love someone else.I was staring 2 years at my parent s thinks wich we recovered,I tryed for 2 years to forget ,bbut you cannot forget these things which change you forever,this scar was going to watch me every where ,like a shadow .
When I had 6 years old I decided to start my training wit my brother,that was the only way wich I could help my parents,to be sure that the demons will never hurt another nephilims .I never was cruel altough,I helped everyone,even the people who had hurted me,who cheated me,who I loved and for who I could die for.
When I was 10 ,a boy came to the Insitut,his name was Will.At first,I hated him because he was mean but he enjoyed readin so we became friendlier one with another,and John was like a big brother for him.After a while I met Jessie ,she was the first girl I knew after Charlotte.She was orphan like me,but her parents did not enjoying to be a nephilim,she also thought me to speak French and to saw.but I did not like her atitude about the shadowhunters.
After a while,our family get bigger.A boy from China came,Jem.He was sick,and at first I was afraid and I looked after the door when Charlotte pruaid Will to meet him,He was rude like always,but Jem did not response,he was sad and inocent and when he said about his ilness I got ashamed because I was afraid.
We all satrted our training ,except Jessie.Sometimes we were rude one with eachother, but tht is what a family is doing,John and me became parabatai and we started to kill demons when I had 14 years old,and Will with Jem became parabatai too.
The time was going faster and faster ,like it was flying,and I started to feel something for Will...One day,I did not go to kill demons,but the boys did .In that day everything changed.The faith punched me again .I was playing to piano when Will entered with John in his arms,bleeding like our father.He died ,giving me the family s knife.I cried over his dead body hours and hours before Jem took me away from him.
I was so angry that I lost him that I did not accept the knife ,it harmed my hands,but the pain was not as bad as the pain of his lost.My rune of parabatai started bleeding,and my wrists were red of blood too,but I could not stop crying..Sophie,the housekeeper was the only one who knew about that ansd she told me that I was out of breathing.In those days I felt like a ghos in withe with red runes over my body seeming like blood,but not painfull enough.
Introduction
I like reading,it is the only think i really enjoy.Sometimes,I pretend to be a character book ,but I am a new character,I am imagining a new story every time,I have a new me with every book,and these new me are still in me ,they change me forever.Every book change us,every word make us dfferent,in a good mood I think.
The readers have the chance to live one thusand lives,they have the chance to be the infinite because every character is in us and when the life really sucks we can think about them,we can be them.They are our soul,our heart ...
I cannot think about a worse torture than loosing books .They are allways there and we can open them over
and over again,the words are never different ,it is different just the way you use them,they can cause hapinnes or harm.The difference is that the people make the words harmful...
I will write here all my books lives ,and what i have learnt from them,but i will not describe the books,i will make them alive ,writting things from my life.
I think that there are 4 kinds of people the ones who write the books
the ones who read them
the ones who live in them
the ones who do not care about them
The readers have the chance to live one thusand lives,they have the chance to be the infinite because every character is in us and when the life really sucks we can think about them,we can be them.They are our soul,our heart ...
I cannot think about a worse torture than loosing books .They are allways there and we can open them over
and over again,the words are never different ,it is different just the way you use them,they can cause hapinnes or harm.The difference is that the people make the words harmful...
I will write here all my books lives ,and what i have learnt from them,but i will not describe the books,i will make them alive ,writting things from my life.
I think that there are 4 kinds of people the ones who write the books
the ones who read them
the ones who live in them
the ones who do not care about them
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